Dealing with Guilt and Regret - Psalm 51

By Reid Squires - Pastor at Sojourn Montrose Church

Guilt is defined as how we feel in response to something we have done that we wish we hadn’t. Similarly, regret is how we feel in response to something we wished we had done, that we did not, or if we wanted something to have been done differently. For the most part, everyone has felt one or both of these emotions. But guilt and regret are different from shame. 

Guilt and regret are centered on actions. We did something wrong that hurt someone, or we left something undone. There’s a challenge here: Our culture does not like to think of ourselves as guilty. Our whole justice system is built on the phrase “Innocent until proven…guilty.” This is why unbelievers don’t initially understand why Jesus died. Because, primarily, a lot of us don’t think we are really guilty of anything. 

But make no mistake. Guilt is there. We can bury it down. We can try and drown it with alcohol or overconsumption of any kind. We can overwork to keep it out of our minds. But, for most humans, guilt and regret over what we’ve done or left undone are lurking below the surface. A lot of the time, guilt and regret come to the surface as anxiety, anger, depression, and certainly shame. 

Others are fully aware of the guilt in your life. Whether you have this large situation that occupies your mind, or there are hundreds of little things you feel guilty for, you’re aware of it. Others aren’t aware of their guilt, but it’s only because you’ve probably done a really good job of burying it and covering it up.

Regardless of where you are with guilt and regret, Psalm 51 has something for you. 

Here is the context: David was king of the Nation of Israel, the people of God. And he was appointed King by God. So God made him King, and then one day, David was on his roof, and he saw a woman named Bathsheba bathing. David learned that Bathsheba was married to a man named Uriah. 

But David overlooked that information and sent for Bathsheba and slept with her.  

Bathsheba became pregnant from this encounter. And from there, David plotted to cover his tracks, and after unsuccessfully doing so, he had Uriah, the husband, killed - he murdered him. This is what David has done. 

And, he thought he got away with it. We aren’t sure if he feels guilty or not just yet, but he has at least successfully covered his tracks. Yet, God sent another man, Nathan, to David and confronted his sin! (2 Samuel 12:1)

Psalm 51 is David’s Response

1  Have mercy on me, O God,

according to your steadfast love;

according to your abundant mercy

blot out my transgressions.

2  Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,

and cleanse me from my sin!

3  For I know my transgressions,

and my sin is ever before me.

4  Against you, you only, have I sinned

and done what is evil in your sight,

so that you may be justified in your words

and blameless in your judgment.

5  Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,

and in sin did my mother conceive me.

6  Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being,

and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.

Consider David’s Response. His response to his guilt is not anger at himself. He doesn’t beat himself up. He doesn’t turn to Self-loathing. Instead, he is self-aware. He has a full awareness of his sin and what he’s done. 

He asks God to blot out his transgressions his actions. He prays for forgiveness, and more than forgiveness, he prays to be cleansed of his sinful actions. His honesty before God is part of the process of his healing. He’s self-aware, and he’s honest before God. This is what I’ve done, and I will never forget this on my own. 

More than that, you know all things God, and really, it’s against you that I have sinned! I have done wrong. Therefore, I am guilty. 

The Psalm continues:

7  Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;

wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

8  Let me hear joy and gladness;

let the bones that you have broken rejoice.

9  Hide your face from my sins,

and blot out all my iniquities.

10  Create in me a clean heart, O God,

and renew a right spirit within me.

11  Cast me not away from your presence,

and take not your Holy Spirit from me.

12  Restore to me the joy of your salvation,

and uphold me with a willing spirit.

13  Then I will teach transgressors your ways,

and sinners will return to you.

14  Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God,

O God of my salvation,

and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.

David prayed that God would purify him, to make him white as snow, instead of stained red with blood,  that his broken bones would rejoice, and that God would forget his wrongdoings. That he would be renewed. 

David was unable to accomplish this purification on his own. David was unable to renew his own self. He pleaded that God would do that. And that’s what God did. God the Father sent his Son, Jesus, to live a perfect life in our place, free of sin and therefore free of guilt and regret.  

And when Jesus goes to the cross, he takes on himself the sin of his people, your sin, my sin, and David’s sin. For those who trust in Jesus, whatever we’ve felt guilty about, or whatever we regret, we can come with Holy Guilt, with right conviction from God, and instead of self-loathing and replaying the situation on a loop in our head, in the shower, whenever, we can trust that Jesus bore all of those actions on the cross. 

So how do we respond? Pray for self-awareness but not self-loathing. You can pray this Psalm and worship the Lord, pray that he would reveal Sin, not so you can have a pity party for yourself, but so that you might worship him and realize all the more how BIG our God is and how much he accomplished on you and our behalf. 

The Christian life is marked by a growing awareness of our sin and a growing awareness of God’s grace in covering that sin on the Cross. This is a beautiful picture of the Gospel, this good news, for us. Guilt should lead not to despair, but praise, hope, and gratitude!